Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Depression








Depression sucks. Not being able to find one tiny shred of a thing to feel happy about. Not caring about anyone or anything, and feeling guilty for that. Feeling like a victim. Feeling like you can't do anything right and have made nothing but the wrong decisions for your life. Not being able to force yourself to eat, get dressed, or take care of your home because, what's the point? Feeling like you have no one to talk to. Feeling like if you disappeared right now, people might wonder for a minute, but then get right over it and go on, because you weren't much to them anyhow. Feeling like you are wasting valuable time being depressed instead of productive, but feeling helpless to change it. I go through this every couple months, and have been dealing with it my entire life. It's less intense (at least I can get out of bed) and doesn't last as long (days or weeks versus months) as it did when I was younger, but knowing it's coming doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

2 comments:

  1. My darling sister, I'm so sorry you feel this way. Especially because there are so many people who love you dearly and would be completely devastated if you died. I know how depression feels, how it seems to ooze out of every pore and choke out every happiness that dares appear. I know. It sucks and most of the time it feels like it's never going to end... but it will. I promise. All you can do is try to get to the next day; if that's too hard, try to get to the next hour; if that's too hard, the next minute. Tomorrow is always fresh.

    You are beautiful. You are spunky. You are fresh. You are fun. You are a light to your family in dark times. You bring out the best in people, even me :) You have a body now that you would have killed for in High School :P (And I'd still probably kill for it, lol) Your employees/co-workers respect you. You have a beautiful niece and nephew aching to play with you every time you visit. You have your license again and a car to drive. You have matured and become a wonderful woman that many people turn to for an honest opinion and hopeful encouragement.

    Think on these things when the dark times come, it might help you through the next minute :) I love you and I hope we have many more years to spend together.

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  2. Aww, Rachelle, you just made me cry!

    That was so kind and encouraging! I think I will save it and read it the next time depression strikes.

    Thankfully this time it only lasted about 2 days.. It's strange having thoughts totally opposite of your normal way of thinking, often totally ridiculous, yet you can't stop them. Then it's like a switch flips from - to + and everything that was just dark is now light.

    I woke up today feeling good! :) And then I read this, and it made my morning.

    Thank you so much for uplifting me with your beautiful way with words! I love you too. (See you in a week!) :D

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Thanks for stopping by! I always love it when someone nice makes their presence known. =)